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Lessons I’ve Learned

August 5, 2011

     In eight days my son takes that walk down the aisle.  He will say the words, “I do,” and then it all begins.  He and his lovely bride will begin their journey through many ups and downs, happiness and tears and every other emotion that exists.  There will be difficult times, but during those times, it is then that I hope they will remember the lessons I’ve learned.

     My husband and I have been married for 28 years, and one of the things we have realized is, that when you’ve been married that long, you can also have a long grudge list.  The grudge list is that list of items that you bring up every time you have an argument.  You know the ones.  They are the items that you attach words like, “you always…”, “you never…”, “I’m tired of you…”  Unless you keep an eraser handy, every time you have a disagreement, you are adding to that list.

     The greatest gift I ever received was the gift of forgiveness.  I am not only talking about the gift of forgiveness I received for my own sins, but I’m also talking about the gift I received from Jesus to be able to forgive.

     There are many sayings out there about forgiveness that fall way short of what true forgiveness is.  Some people say, “I can forgive, but I’ll never forget.”  The truth is, if you cannot forget, than you have not forgiven.

     Some of the deepest wounds we can receive are from those closest to us.  Husbands and wives can wound each other.  Sometimes those wounds are not forgotten.  When this occurs we are adding to a grudge list that will resurface again and again and again.

     When Jesus forgives us, he says our sins are as far as the east is from the west.  The east and west never meet.  But we are incapable of a forgiveness like that in our own power.

     Our first step in the forgiveness process first and foremost is this; we must release them from the debt they owe to us.  That debt may be a real one.  The other person may very well have wounded us deeply and we “rightly” are “owed.”  As long as we keep score and feel that we are owed, we have not forgiven and neither person will have any freedom.  It is Jesus who supernaturally enables us to release the debt owed to us.  Jesus pays that debt and both parties are set free and the debt, real or imagined is as far as the east is from the west.

     So Luke and Rachelle, do not keep score.  Do not create a grudge list.  And when offences occur, release the person you love from the debt they owe you.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Diana permalink
    August 5, 2011 9:42 am

    Beautifully said!!

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